27 FOR PARKINSONS ... GRIEF ... GRIEVING ... Its been a long time since I last posted a blog and in that time the World has changed ... COVID The past two years have been such a roller coaster ride, some real highs and the lowest of lows I'm not sure where to start - my mind runs in all directions at the moment - On September 11 Bill lost his battle with Lewy Body Disease, just two days after his 85th birthday. and just 7 weeks after he was diagnosed with LBD - previous physician/geriatition had diagnosed Parkinsons with Dementia. Over the years I've endured grief with the loss of my Dad, my Mumma, a baby Granddaughter, my brother and a very close friend but none of these prepared me for the grief I'm feeling now, the grief of losing one's soul mate of 38 years. Grief that comes in waves, sometimes it hits like a tsunami, sometimes the crying is so deep it takes my breath away, the hollow sick feeling, tears that come when you're trying to be 'brave'- yesterday was my annual mammogram and ultra sound date to make sure that 'Dotty' had been erradicated from my body ... there I am right boob in the machine when the tears came ... poor Andrea thought I was in pain, well maybe there was a little discomfort but not enough to make one cry! Explanation needed! Then there's the mind to deal with too ... what if, if I had, maybe I could have, did I do enough etc etc etc I'm sure being a Libran helps me weigh up the good against the bad, the positive against the negative, there's always a balance The five weeks Bill was in Care at Burditt Manor gave me an insight into what could have been ... Bills worst nightmare of just existing not living, hence there are the times when I give thanks that he's now resting in peace and that his mind and body are no longer tormented, no more falls, no more hallucinations ... but then again I so wanted more time with my love. We had discussed our wishes for 'when the time comes' and Bill wanted a 'private cremation and to be chucked in the lake' (his words) he knew I drew the line at the Lake ... I know the reasoning behind his decisons. Unfortunately, due to Covid restrictions and border closures a memorial service is not possible at the moment - but it will happen There will be more tears I know .. there's still all the legal 'stuff' to do when 'that piece of paper arrives' (whats the bet it arrives on Monday, my birthday, I reckon that would be Murphys law) ... there's birthdays, Christmas and other milestones which will be hard without his presence. I'm blessed with loving caring family and friends ... My 27 for Parkinsons Challenge begins today .... I opted for the Connect/Communicate option ... My goals are: to raise awarenes of Parkinson's disease to raise much needed funds for reasearch and support for Parkinson sufferers and their families to share factual information on Lewy Body Disease (as many including health professionals are unaware of this form of Parkinsons/Dementia) to share Bills journey with LBD (the good, the bad and the downright ugly) in the hope it may help others recognise signs earlier to re-open my Blog (I found blogging so therapeutic during my Breast Cancer journey) where I will go into more detail on Bills journey, our feelings, how it affected our lives to connect with a friend or family member daily - this may be in person, via phone, text or social media. WHAT IS LEWY BODY DISEASE? Lewy body disease is a common neurodegenerative disease of ageing. This means that the disease causes gradual brain damage. For reasons not fully understood, it occurs when there is an abnormal build-up of a protein called alphasynuclein in brain cells. These abnormalities occur in specific areas of the brain, causing changes in movement, thinking and behaviour. Lewy body disease includes three overlapping disorders: Dementia with Lewy bodies Parkinson's disease Parkinson's disease with dementia This overlap results in the disease being called a spectrum disease. #27forparkinsons #parkinsons #dementiaawareness #parkinsonwithdementia #lewybodydisease