RADIATION - DONE AND DUSTED!

OMG ... two full weeks have passed since my last blog - and full and memorable weeks they have been. Since then I've completed radiation therapy - with nothing more than an itchy rash. I found the tiny icepack I'd been given after the lumpectomy and that combined with the cold Aqueous cream (keep in fridge Sally the breast cancer nurse told me) give great relief - five days on its gradually subsiding. I've been truly blessed with having an amazing support team in my family and friends, they've been my chauffers, laughed with me, shed a tear or two with me, 'shouted' me meals and given up three hours of their day for me (travel to Traralgon in 45 mins each way plus treatment time). On Monday, December 2 when Lindie & I walked into the radiotherapy department we were 'blown away' by the transformation over the weekend - a forest of Christmas Trees - each one decorated with a different 'theme', brick walls, a fireplace and a wooden Christmas tree with an array of homebaked Christmas treats packaged in cellophane for patients and their supports to enjoy .... and enjoy we did! my favourite was the tiny mince pies - similar size to what Mumma used to bake - I'm not a fan of the supermarket variety, find they are too big and have too much pastry for my liking. One of the staff members in IT makes the decorations and did the decorating over the weekend and I trust she was able to witness the appreciation of those of us undergoing treatment. Lindie has offered to assist next Christmas - I would too but compared to Lindie my decorations are very amateurish! I saw a psychologist ... however in the time between getting my referral and an appointment I'd had a huge meltdown - I won't go into details but to say to it involved silverbeet - silverbeet which became very finely shredded - after which I physically felt like a weight had lifted from my heart and shoulders. Deb put it down to grief and the fact I'm a carer and a supporter and forget to look out for me ... to help me overcome the overwhelming teary times (simple things like medical staff asking me to confirm my name set me off which then meant I needed to explain I wasn't scared just grieving) she suggested to think of silverbeet as a trigger word which will make me smile. Deb believes I understand and have control of my mental wellbeing, that I just needed to have it confirmed and talk with someone independent .. so no further visits required. Grief affects us all in different ways ... and you don't grieve if you haven't loved! Just don't put off seeking help if you feel you need it ... unfortunately there is still some stigma out there regarding mental health ... A friend of Lyns' gave her a copy of The Beacon (Breast Cancer Network magazine) for me to read and in there I found an interesting letter from a reader which said "don't say to recently diagnosed family/friend 'call me if you need anything' instead 'take the bull by the horns' and do something (make a meal, organise to go with them to appointments, take them shopping or for a coffee, contact them instead) as for most it's hard to ask for help even though it's been offered. And for those like me who do find it hard to ask for help ... people really don't offer if they don't mean it Leeanne and Caiti are holidaying with us for ten days, the past few years we have had an early Christmas with our Queensland family which unfortunately this year we couldn't manage, hence they have come to us. Tomorrow we are off to Melbourne for two nights before they fly home on Wednesday. Bill has his half-yearly check-up at Peter Mac on Tuesday - then its shopping and Christmas lights and decorations. It will be a lovely break to celebrate the conclusion of radiation. After three months of trying and numerous treatments, my nails were still flaking and breaking so with a little gentle persuasion from Caiti I now have some new acrylic Christmas themed nails ... silly but true they are a big morale booster! Started taking Femara on Wednesday - so a little early yet for any side effects, but hey I'm not going to get any! Posted off a few Christmas cards, mainly to those who are not on Facebook and that we don't see regularly ... and yes the first few cards we received were ones I'd missed ... oops My beautiful sister-in-law and niece had a lovely mother/daughter trip to Uluru - I could hear the joy in her voice yesterday when she rang - Christmas won't be easy for her this year. Each year my tradition is to watch Carols by Candlelight on Christmas Eve by the light of three special candles (Dad, Molly and Mum) this year we add another two for Pete and Robyn. Carols by Candlelight has been part of my Christmas since a little girl, I remember Mum purchasing a Carols book at the Newsagents and we would sit around the radio listening and singing ... then came TV and we could watch this amazing spectacle. Attending a Carols by Candlelight is on my "Wish List' and Robyn and I had been planning on going in 2020. One of Bill & my favourite Christmas eve memories is Mum singing along to a Carol being sung in Latin - after all those years Mum still remembered Latin from her highschool days. Finally some more warm weather predicted for the coming week ... bring on those lazy hazy days of Summer.

HALF WAY ....

Sunday 1 December 2020 First day of summer and the forecast isn't looking at all like producing the typical warm sunny summer day we Aussies love - cloudy, windy and showers with a top temperature of 18c and we have a scheduled power outage from 8.30 -4.00 - first thoughts were a trip to Lakes Entrance and enjoy fish, chips and scallops on the foreshore but Mother Nature said not really a good idea, next idea movies and shopping at Midvalley Morwell however my body (and mind) is telling me different - there's a lot of things on my 'To Do' list that can be done without power and Sale has a cinema (albeit old and in need of a good revamp) and shops. Half way through radiation treatment ... so far all going well - have had a late afternoon 'nanna nap' - unscheduled whilst watching the cricket! -the past two afternoons so maybe fatigue is starting to creep in, but no signs of burning or blistering. The time travelling to and from Traralgon gives great opportunity for some precious 'one on one' time that is often hard to find these days - Monday Heather & I had some Mummy/Daughter time - morning tea, shopping and lunch, Spotlight was on the agenda Tuesday with Lindie, lots of laughs with Shell on Wednesday, my long time friend (actually the first friend I made when we moved to Sale in 1970) Noelene was my 'support' on Thursday and Friday, usually when we meet up we chat about whats happening currently so it was lovely to look back on times gone by and remember those early days when our kids were babies, velvet soap and shining kitchen sinks and lots of other wonderful memories. Lunched at Eviva in Traralgon Plaza on Thursday - good food but busy and noisy. Friday Noelene had booked for lunch at Victoria Rose Teahouse in Rosedale as a special treat - we shared a Ploughmans lunch followed by heavenly lemon meringue cheesecake sitting by the open window with the scent of roses wafting in was so peaceful. I am blessed with some wonderful friends. Tuesday I saw Dr Joshi my medical oncologist regarding stage 3 of my treatment, once radiation has finished I'll take Femara for 5 years ... not jumping for joy at this however if it is going to help prevent the recurrence of cancer and prolong my life 'so be it' ... some of the known side effects are just what I don't need: weight gain, fatigue, aching muscles and emotional swings .... WOO HOO ... I can gain weight quite easily now, my emotions are still understandably up and down at the moment without medication! Dr Joshi ordered a bone density scan for comparison annually as Femara has been known in some cases to cause brittle bones. Positive thinking, meditation, exercise, fresh air and healthy eating = my plan of attack against this little yellow tablet! Bodhi & Lulu turned four on Wednesday - the past two years we have been up North on holidays and there to celebrate with them (and twice cancer has kept us from being there, first Bill now me) yesterday they 'face timed' us to say thank you for their birthday cards and gifts - sometimes you just have to love modern technology. Had a long phone call from Dylan on Friday night - once again I'm a very proud Grandma, his exam results were exceptional again top score is 7 and he achieved 7 in three subjects and 6 in his fourth which should almost guarantee him a scholarship towards his study exchange in South Korea next year. I've been a Western Bulldogs member for over 15 years now (a fan for way way way longer) just a three game membership, more just financial support for the Club I love, With this years automatic membership renewal an email was sent out with a 'scratch and win' feature as a thank you for continued support .... I won a membership upgrade ... General admission to all home and away games .... happy me, hopefully I'll get to a lot more games next season. Our lovely Sri Lankan neighbours who are employed at a local market garden keep us supplied with fresh green vegetables, lettuce, cauliflowers, broccoli, cabbage for which we are so grateful as are the family members and their friends we share the produce with ... cooked up a few dishes yesterday to fill the freezer for dinners later in the week ... one huge cabbage, doubt I've ever seen one so big, obviously too big for the supermarkets, only used half yesterday in making Chow Mein and coleslaw - another batch of Chow Mein coming up this evening (when the powers back). Heather was a happy little vegemite as I cooked up a couple of extra meals for her and Matt. On Friday my Brother Peter was remembered at the Ecumenical Service hosted at St Stephen's Cathedral Brisbane by the Asbestos Disease Support Society. It is asbestos awareness week - please be careful of asbestos. 55 butterflies representing the 55 people who have lost their lives including Pete were placed on a canvas - I wish I could have shared the photo with you however they have a copyright on them. Sadly 4000 have died nationally this year. Till next time ...

LOVE, SUPPORT, FRIENDSHIP AND KINDNESS ...

Sunday 24 November 2019 I'm not sure where time disappears to … each day just seems to meld into the next lately. A few blogs ago I mentioned how the Sale Cancer Support Group was invited to participate in a series of short videos titled Gathering of Kindness .. these videos are now on You Tube, if you have a few spare minutes you might like to watch a few of these real life stories November seems to have been a month of changing temperatures and strong winds, very little rain and thankfully no bushfires. Air-conditioner was going full blast on the trip to Traralgon (and home) … stopped of at Del Jardine in Rosedale and purchased my purple pot to plant Robyns daffodils in - amazed how affordable the pots, plants and giftware there is (shall go back one day without Bill so I can really have a good browse) - loved the lifesize cow and the larger than life Panda in the plant section - worth a visit just to see The radiation process was a lot quicker today and we didn't upset Brenda who treated me to a hot chocolate and Bill a Brazilian coffee (no cheap instant stuff for us!). Once back in Sale a quick dash into Queen of All Things to purchase a Funky Monkey Deo Ball (a clear crystal 100% pure and natural Himalayan organic mineral salt deodorant) Jenn (French) has an amazing array of 'stuff' as her business name suggests she really is Queen of All Things plus the other side of her business is Jenn French Massage and Wellbeing Centre Thanks Jenn - deodorant works a treat. No school for my Princess on Friday which meant by driving to Traralgon she was able to add another hour to her My Learners tally - we left Lilly at Stockland to shop whilst we travelled on to LVCH for my radiation - what a hoot! my radiotherapists we Sumtpa an Australian born Sri Lanken and Widith who was born in Mauritius, these two guys had me laughing with their banter. Went to The Wedge for the Taylor Henderson concert with Noelene - Taylor has a great voice and his showmanship and rapport with the audience made for a really entertaining evening. Pride of place in the lounge is the Christmas Tree … took me 5 hours to decorate (because I'm a perfectionist!!) but I'm happy with it, just need a couple more little trinkets which I'll pick up tomorrow …. H is rostered to take me to be zapped tomorrow and we're having a Mummy/daughter lunch and shopping day afterwards - watch out KMart! Started to wrap a few of the Christmas Gifts I've managed to cross off my list so far - but once again got distracted - cricket! Aussie Aussie Aussie Oops hope Bills not too hungry yet … forgot the time - luckily I've most of dinner prepared.

ONE DOWN - FOURTEEN TO GO ....

Yesterday was day one of my radiation schedule …. I feel I've prepared myself as best as I can for this experience … I've read My Journey, asked questions of my medical/radiation team and yes I did Google some too! The best laid plans sometimes never come off and unfortunately Heather wasn't able to get the day off work and all other family and friends were unavailable, so Bill and I set off - I was confident that any fatigue I may experience won't happen until mid next week at the earliest - stopping at Clarke Rubber to purchase the weather strip for the lounge window, we arrived at LVCH half an hour early and managed to obtain a disabled park (Bill has a sticker which we seldom use) in the top car park. By now I was 'hanging' for a coffee, we headed to the café and decided to take advantage of the tranquil comfy radiation centre waiting room and consume it …. oops we upset Brenda (not really she was just pretending) as its her job to provide us with coffee and biscuits. Hannah is my radiation assistant this week and after weighing in (I like my weight better when I'm not fully clothed and with shoes on) I'm shown a row of four cupboards each one bearing an Australian native animal sticker - my gown is on a shelf (complete with my name) in the Ringtail Possum cupboard. After donning this beautiful designer gown, which just meets in the middle but hey I've flashed my boob at so many people the past two months what's a couple more! its off to the radiation 'bunker' I'm introduced to the team in the viewing room who all smile and assure me they will be watching me and can hear me should the need arise that I get traumatised or overcome - which is comforting to know. Off with the gown, hide behind the green modesty sheet and up onto the bed, feet into their correct position - somethings wrong my heads not reaching my 'mould', have I shrunk this past week (wouldn't mind if it was girth not height) nah just needed a minor adjustment on the bed and voila all is good, I lie there looking at the palm trees complete with coconuts on the ceiling whilst Hannah and Sumpta (I think that is the lovely young mans name) ensure that all the measurements are correct and that I'll be zapped in the right spots … then I'm alone in the room with the machine, I lie there silly thoughts going through my head 'glad those trees aren't real, don't want a coconut landing on me' suddenly I'm aware of someone re entering the room and Sumpta is there, handing me the rope to pull myself up and handing me the green modesty sheet once again, I head over to the chair with my basket containing my clothes and as I don my blue gown and wander back to the change room to get dressed, fold up my blue gown and put back into the possum cupboard for tomorrow. Tomorrow will be even quicker I'm told. After a quick interview with Jenny, one of the nurses who gives me a tube of cream and an instruction sheet, answers the couple of questions I have, suggests that I should have a driver each day as fatigue can set in at anytime and without warning - its time to head home. Lyn calls in just after we arrived home - she has a terrible cold and won't come inside so we chat through the security door and arrange some dates she will drive me to Traralgon. Shell rings to see how today went and find out my future appointment times - we work out a couple of dates she is able to take me and tells me to ask Rob to take me somedays, which I've been loathe to do, I know he's my son and he wants to support me but he has a business to run and now is his busy busy time as the grass just keeps growing fast and his clients like their lawns pristine. I take her advice and yep he's happy to do at least one day. Heather calls in on her way home from work - suggests the days she will try to get off to take me. Oh how much simpler it would be if we had Radiology here in Sale as well as Oncology …. maybe one day …. whilst its only a 45 minute drive to Traralgon the return trip takes at least two hours out of your day. Time to get ready for day two.

ARE YOU OK? .... WELL NO - NOT REALLY ...

Sunday 17 November Spring is drawing closer to summer - the days are getting warmer - that's what should happen but here in Gippsland its still been cold and windy. Appointments last Monday with my GP followed by Radiation CT scan and planning so we made it a day out .. I needed a referral signed to take with me to Gippsland Cancer Centre and I've been struggling emotionally the past week or so - I feel I've coped with losing Pete as I'd known for the past 6 years he was on 'borrowed' time but losing Robyn seemed so sudden even though I knew her prognosis was terminal - so I put my 'big girl pants on' and asked for an appointment with a counsellor plus a referral for oncology rehab exercise and a dietician to help me lose some weight. Admitting we are struggling mentally isn't easy to do and I admire those in public life who have come forward recently and sought 'time out' and help. Next stop Rosedale to pick out a purple pot ready to plant the daffodils from Robyns garden, alas the pot place only opens Thursday to Sunday, oh well just have to stop there another time. Onto Clarke Rubber, wasn't quite sure what we needed, served by a most obliging young man Aaron who gave us a sample piece to bring home and try - just what we need so will stop off on our next trip to Traralgon. On to Morwell where I had to return a couple of items I'd purchased on-line but didn't like before a well earned morning tea at Donut King where Shay another delightful young person served us, good customer service with a smile makes such a difference. After a quick walk round Big W it was back to Traralgon, enjoyed a cup of coffee courtesy of Glenda before my scan. After changing into a delightful blue hospital robe, a walk of approximately 20 paces down the passage to the scanning room where I had to disrobe again - flashing my boobs is becoming a regular occurrence and I guess its only going to happen more frequently as the weeks go on!! Alex and Dom were the radiology technicians assigned to 'map' me today ready for commencement of radiation on Wednesday 20th - after positioning me in the position I'll be required to be in for each session a mould was formed ….. the following information is from BCNA and gives a more accurate description than I could! Careful planning is necessary before radiation treatment can begin. The planning ensures that you get the full benefit of radiation with minimal impact on other parts of your body. During the planning session, a radiation oncologist maps out the breast area that needs treatment. The oncologist or radiation technician uses a special X-ray machine called a simulator, and the process is called simulation because the treatment is being "simulated," or not really given. Because it is so important to position the angles of radiation accurately, the planning session can sometimes last up to an hour. The extra time and care during this session will make your future visits run more smoothly and help you get the most from your radiation therapy. You do not receive any treatment during the planning session. Positioning is extremely important in radiation therapy. Your body will be positioned carefully in order to get the best radiation treatment. You will be in the same position during every treatment, and you will have to remain still. To stabilize your position, you will probably be asked to lie in a special "immobilization device" on the treatment table. You may be asked to lie down in a custom-shaped mold that just touches your back and sides; or your treatment center may use a "breast board" that places your head, arm, and hand in a fixed position. Unfortunately, no padding can be used on the treatment table or positioning devices because that makes your treatment position less precise. Pictures will be taken of the area that needs to be treated. Those images are sent to the radiation planning computer, which will help set up the general treatment fields (the areas that get the radiation). After the simulation is done, the dose of radiation you'll receive is calculated, and your radiation treatment is designed over the next few days. This is called dosimetry. Your radiation oncologist works closely with a radiation dosimetrist, who helps further define the best arrangement and size of your treatment fields and is responsible for making sure you receive the correct amount of radiation. Together they establish the size, shape, and number of the treatment fields. The treatment fields are designed to maximize the dose of radiation to the area that needs to be treated and to avoid or minimize the dose to the normal surrounding tissues. My Princess, Lilly Georgia turned 17 and we celebrated with family dinner at Lakeside - the years are flying by way too fast. Tuesday we left Sale at 8.30 with the LVCH Carers Group for an overnight trip - the weather was quite pleasant when we set off however by the time we stopped in Yarragon for refreshments etc it was raining and the wind was blowing a gale (no refreshments for us) It had been 12 years since we last went on Puffing Billy when we did the tourist 'thing' in the open carriages - today we were treated to the Steam and Cuisine trip, the dining cars had been purchased by the Puffing Billy Historical Society back in the early 60's from the Mount Lyle Railway in Tasmania and named after towns along that railway - Mt Lyell, Double Barril, Rinadeena & Teepookana. The food was beautifully presented and restaurant quality - we both had pork rib eye for mains OMG it was huge but so tender and succulent and dessert was decadence at its best, crumbled chocolate mud cake in an espresso martini jelly, topped with chocolate mousse and Chantilly cream. At the end of the three hour round trip we were off to our overnight accommodation in Kalorama, unfortunately our bus driver hadn't done his homework and was relying on good old Google maps so we did a few laps of the Dandenongs! Our room was not overly large but absolutely spotless and quite comfortable …. dinner … yes more food …. Lamb noisettes for me, salmon for Bill (enjoyable but didn't surpass lunch) tiramisu for dessert. Bill spent a lot of time over dinner reminiscing with another couple who were originally from South Gippsland and whom he had known way back when - in fact he and Beryl had worked together when in their teens. Buffet breakfast on Wednesday morning - yes more food - an excellent selection of hot and cold foods to chose from. Homeward bound (bus driver must have done his homework overnight as we didn't get lost once) with a stop at LVCH in Moe for a talk by Corina on Health matters for seniors, I don't think I have ever been so entertained at an information talk/lecture before, this lady knows her stuff and had us all in fits of laughter (we all received a little gift from her - not sure you'd really want to know what it was!! Last stop on our way home was at Green Olive in Traralgon - oh yes more food ...Chicken Duchess and Mars Bar Cheesecake for me, Seafood platter and Banana Spring Rolls for Bill …. everyone just rolled out to the bus - an amazing couple of days and a welcome break for all carers and those they care for. Thursday was spent recovering from an over load of scrumptious food. Friday had a little bit of 'me' time for a cut and colour. Saturday Heather & I had planned to go to Red Katt for lunch but as it was McHappy Day we changed our mind and supported Ronald McDonald House by having a burger for lunch before going to watch Jack & Shell play tennis - it was the first time they had been in opposition teams playing against each other - Jacks team won, rather proud of my grandson he didn't lose a service game all day. Today the weather is still chilly though the sun is finally shining - supposedly going to warm up as the week progresses.

GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PARCELS ....

Wednesday 6 November Good things come in small parcels so the saying goes … and for us this is true with our beautiful daughter-in-law Shell. These days everyone seems so busy with their lives that we don't get to spend that quality time with our loved ones that we should - so when an opportunity arises we grab it with both hands! My appointment with Louise Nardone was scheduled for 11.20 and Shell offered to be my support person and drive us to Traralgon - 45 minutes in the car gave us a chance to have a natter and a few laughs. A couple of forms to fill out (isn't there always!) - the waiting area for radiation at LVRH is quite pleasant, well lit with nice comfy couches and chairs, tea and coffee making facilities, the obligatory jig saw puzzle sitting waiting to be completed and a delightful hospitality worker Brenda who is always on for a chat, knows and remembers patients and family/support persons and who has been happily doing this for over 20 years. Brenda starts discussing climate change with us … when a male voice calls 'Valerie', he introduces himself as Christian - I tell him he doesn't look like Louise! Then I remember I hadn't been available for Robyns initial appointment with Louise and she told me she had seen Christian and said something similar to him - yes my beautiful friend is watching over me and putting words in my mouth!! Thankfully my memory isn't too bad (yet) as the questions Christian had to ask required me delve way back - almost 60 years back … what age did you start menstruating, how many children do you have, did you breast feed, what age did you reach menopause, how long did you take HRT, Shell learnt lots about her mother-in-law today …. all questions that may be helpful with research into breast cancer, its causes and relationship to lifestyle and health as we progress through life, I was finding it hard to concentrate on this handsome young Dr as he had an Essendon Football Club membership lanyard round his neck and I kept thinking of the absolute drubbing the Bulldogs gave them … and yes it got the better of me I just had to ask if he'd been at that game - yes unfortunately was his reply …. big grin on my face as I told him I was a Bulldog fan. I'm not sure what question Christian asked that brought on my tears - Shell explained that I'd had a really traumatic time recently … and as quick as the tears came they stopped. (I understand we grieve because we have loved … but I'd prefer to not cry in public so often!) After an examination to ensure my wounds were completely healed and ready for radiation he left the room to get Louise - I thought Louise would have been advised Robyn had passed but she didn't know until Christian told her … Louise delivered the good news - I would have the three week course, 15 sessions of more intensive treatment …. woohoo that's 10 days less of travelling to Traralgon daily. Normally I would have had the planning CT done after this consultation but the CT machine was out of action (overworked probably and unfortunately) so I'd need to come back either Friday or Monday for this. An enjoyable lunch in the hospital cafeteria (lamb roast for $7 was delicious) before heading home - discussion on the way home was centered around my question answers, information that may be helpful or necessary for Lilly in the future. Heather and I had only discussed menopause yesterday and the fact I'd had endometriosis at age 34 which resulted in a total hysterectomy and early menopause therefore she has no maternal gauge as to what she's experiencing. Another positive from this negative is that information regarding family health has been shared - I'd not thought previously about the fact that this information may be of importance to my beautiful Princess and any daughters she may have in the future. Not many of my family and friends are shorter than me … however the honour of being the shortest in our family goes to Shell … love my beautiful English DIL

FAMILY, FRIENDS, FLOWERS ....

Tuesday 5 November 2019 ….. Melbourne Cup Day Wow I didn't realise how long its been since I last blogged - life has been getting back to some form of normality - Watched a few games of cricket on TV - amazing how the social media trolls have been quiet now the Aussies are winning and Dave Warner and Steve Smith have been making the runs. Sold our large outdoor setting and gas BBQ as we seldom used them and they were way too big for out small courtyard and replaced them with a hammock chair and a small 3 piece bistro set - an electric BBQ seems a much safer option as Bills memory wanes. Dylan was home for a few days and we enjoyed a lovely family dinner at H's - I do so miss his head pats and hugs. So proud of him and the grades he is achieving at UQ - I'll need to start saving as he's hoping to achieve a years study exchange in Seoul next year! Weather has been so up and down lately - a wild wet windy weekend where it was movies and cricket followed by a few days of beautiful sunshine and temperatures into the high 30's Went along to Carers Group - as I parked my car a lady parked beside me and she followed me into LVCH and sat down beside me and I felt a familiarity about her, as she introduced herself I realised she was Glenys who had been my mates spiritual and financial mentor - I'm sure our beautiful friend Robyn had a hand in us becoming friends. I've had a few emotional outbursts, just simple things make the tears flow, like my fluffy pink slippers - yep a simple pair of slippers (we'd both bought them on one of our visits to Big W prior to one of Robyns appointments at Gippsland Cancer Centre - why waste an opportunity to shop was our motto) Had lunch with the 'hydro group' - best chips in Sale are at Aqua Energy - I have really missed my hydro exercise …. roll on radiation and the New Year so I can get back in the water. Bill wasn't happy with me 'street walking' though I'm really sure no-one would really want to pick up this old chook! so he bought me a treadmill - my kilometer rate is much faster when I'm out pounding the bitumen than the rolling rubber! Enjoyed a relaxing hour in the Salt Cave with Noelene - its the one place I can find complete peace, no distractions, no phones, no TV, no doorbell - just utter relaxtion. Finally received the call I was waiting for my appointment for the Radiation Oncologist - Wednesday 6 November at 12 noon with Dr Louise Nardone (this brought on another flood of tears - I've met Louise on several occasions as she was the oncologist Robyn saw for her brain mets … I think they were more happy tears that I have already some rapport with Louise and I'm not dealing with a stranger. I'm hoping I can put off starting radiation until around the 14th after we have been on the Carers Group Puffing Billy trip - two days away from home with all meals, accommodation and travel provided. Lots of visitors last week, Hannah & Heather came with a beautiful bunch of roses from their garden, Bills cousin Col just back from his three month winter sojourn and my BFF Lyn with a bunch of orchids stopped off on her way to the airport for another one of her international escapades OMG the mind boggles at what scrapes she may get into this time! Lindie treated me to a day out - morning tea, shopping, lunch at Eviva followed by more shopping - even the rain couldn't dampen our day. Today was just the best - H and I went down to IGA to meet Samuel Johnson - yes the legendary Love Your Sister Samuel Johnson - this man deserves every award and accolade ever awarded him - his quest to vanquish cancer sees him travelling around the country raising funds towards a personal treatment of cancer and other serious illness' for every - yes treatment tailored individually. https://loveyoursister.org/get-involved/ The world needs more Samuel Johnsons. Backed the Melbourne Cup winner - go me!!

GOOD NEWS DAY!

Sunday 20 October 2019...…. Friday was good news day - the wait was finally over - the results were in - the biopsy done on my two sentinel nodes came back clear - the cancer had been confined to 'Dotty'. No further surgery needed. The dressings were finally removed and woo hoo I no longer need to wear the TEDs. Goodbye BO I'm now allowed to used deodorant under the right arm again. Next step is for a medical oncologist and a radiologist to contact me to make appointments for further treatment - Mr Strauss says he doesn't believe chemotherapy will be warranted just radiation followed by hormone blockers. Heather and I celebrated with coffee and cake at Café 123 and a rummage through the clothes in the Thrift Shop there - got a couple of bargains. Last Sunday Heather took me out to Legends for afternoon tea - my first outing since the op, apart from a couple of short walks round the block. David & Lindie brought us lunch on Monday - vegetable pasties which just needed heating - oops they ended up a little burnt, gave the boys something to stir us about! Happens when you talk too much!! Kath arrived on Wednesday lunchtime with KFC $5 meal boxes as a treat for us - the value in them was amazing. Thursday was Cancer Support Group meeting and I drove for the first time in two weeks. Agent Creative is making a video about Kindness in Cancer and wanted to film some of us and our stories to use, possibly just a few words from each interview will be used. Bill & I had been a little reluctant however over afternoon tea Andrew Gill the facilitator got talking to me and felt our story was exceptional and of great interest so I agreed to an interview with him being filmed - will be very interesting to see the finished product. www.gatheringofkindness.org/kindness-videos Yesterday we lunched at Dock 70 with Geoff and Pat - lovely sitting by the window with the sun streaming through looking over the Port of Sale. Bill & I strolled through the Art Gallery afterwards. I've been sleeping well, getting around 8 hrs a night. The past few days my wounds have been a little itchy as they heal, a few twinges here and there when I reach or stretch and an odd sensation around the nipple area when I'm walking (hard to describe). All in all I'm feeling extremely grateful for Breast Screen and regular mammograms and early detection.

THE DEMISE OF DOTTY ... AND THE WEEK SINCE

As if my 'vampire' experience of Tuesday morning wasn't enough, word filtered through that 44 Hospitals and Medical Centres in Victoria had had their IT hacked, yes Central Gippsland was one, yet the thought hadn't crossed my mind that my surgery could be delayed until Rob called after work to check and wish me well for Wednesday, as I hadn't had any message we assumed all was going to plan. Elaine arrived and we enjoyed Singapore Noodle takeaway washed down with a glass of red (just a small one for me). A cup of tea and a Tim Tam at 10.30 then off to bed. Wednesday dawned a beautiful sunny spring morning, Elaine & I met Heather at the hospital at 7.30 - first stop Admission, then round to Radiology & Nuclear Medicine where I was booked in for 8am for the first procedure - I'd been warned some women, in fact many women, found this to be the most painful and uncomfortable of the whole surgery as no local anaesthetic can be used. Out of my clothes and into the haute couture blue hospital gown with the help of my entourage! Heather sat beside me holding my hand and YES it was painful a thousand times more painful than childbirth but only for about 15 seconds twice - yet to my credit I only said SHIT and FAR OUT FRUITLOOPS - though I think Heather probably wanted to say more as I crushed her hand! Then the wait … you may feel a stinging sensation which some have likened to vinegar slowing going through your boob I'd been told and this process may take up to 90 mins and sometimes even longer …. Heather found some relaxation music for me to focus on, after about 10 minutes I felt a slightly warm sensation but nothing uncomfortable and voila after 30 minutes the radioactive material had located three sentinel nodes - a few 'photos' and a couple of trips in and out the tunnel and stage one was done and dusted EARLY … thanks to the lovely Leesha who helped make this experience as pleasant as possible. A short wait which included a visit from Marg Centra my McGrath breast cancer nurse and then on to Step 2 the insertion of a fine wire hook guided by ultra sound - this time local anaesthetic is used so there is no pain, I almost went to sleep lying there but for the comic repertoire between Dr, Nurses, Radiographer and my support crew. Step 3 a gentle mammogram to ensure the hook was in the correct position to guide Mr Strauss. Step 4 off to Day procedure, by now I was feeling hungry and thirsty and that couple of mouthfuls of water with my pre op meds was heaven - it was here I had a 'melt down' the nerves really hit and I couldn't say my name and date of birth even thought I'd parroted them off at least ten times during the day .. Sue the nurse assigned to me walked off giving me time to settle down and regain my composure once more, on with those sexy white stockings and at 11.11am I was wheeled off to theatre … I remember glimpses of sunlight streaming through the windows along the passage, I recall Mr Strauss inserting the canula into my hand, Nicky's calming voice as she sent me off to sleep … I've a vague recollection of waking in recovery, Heather was there holding my hand once more and apparently the nurse with me was also Heather - no recollection of the trip from recovery to ward though. Once in the ward it hit me - I'm still alive and Dotty is gone - onwards and upwards with recovery now. Time for a lovely warm sponge bath and discover why my legs were 'pumping' I was fortunate to have a DVT Prevention: Intermittent Pneumatic Compression Device on them. Elaine had gone home and brought Bill into the hospital so he was there when I reached the ward - it had been a long day for him waiting although Heather kept him informed as each step was completed. Dinner came - even though hungry I couldn't face the creamy chicken soup or sandwiches and the inner child came out in me as I devoured the jelly and ice-cream!!! The best ice-cream I've tasted for a long time and its gluten free. Rob, Shell & Lilly called in bringing me my favourite tea bags as I'd forgotten to pack them - yeah I know I'm fussy! Then it was walkies time - (only to the bathroom) - my two nurses Mary and Ash had obviously never drunk several blue cruisers or blue lagoons in one session as they were fascinated by my blue wee (product of the blue dye injected during surgery which highlights the sentinel nodes to be removed - my skin colour was also slightly grey blue). Cheese and crackers and a cup of tea for supper and I was ready to settle down for a sleep … woken at 11pm for observations .. woken again at 4.45 when a new patient was admitted to the ward Hannah the night nurse sat and chatted with me for a while - then next I knew it was breakfast time. The lovely Learne was back on duty and understood my whacky sense of humour when I asked to be released from my shackles to use the bathroom. Mr Strauss did his rounds shortly after 8am and was very pleased with my progress - only painkillers I'd needed had been Panadol and was happy for me to be discharged later in the morning once I'd been seen by a physio and given a set of exercises - which for the first week are some of what we do on Tuesdays hydro exercise class. Elaine went home just prior to lunch and the rest of the day is a bit of a blur - think I slept for a lot of the afternoon. Lindie called in with flowers and Heather called in after work. Friday - another year older! Kath called in for coffee and stayed for lunch as Lindie had brought hot chips, gravy and fresh bread rolls plus a white chocolate mud cake - best foster daughter ever! Relaxed afternoon catching up on some TV - I managed to have a shower in the morning and wash my hair left handed - sat on bed with head down to blow dry (no styling though) amazing how we women can improvise when necessity deems so! Family dinner of Thai take-away and chocolate birthday cake complete with candles was delicious and I received some lovely gifts and was spared the traditional 'lets hang shit on Grandma'. Lilly bought us some beautiful hand made placemats home from Vietnam - gorgeous bright colours. Today I managed to put on my bra which meant less pain. Sleeping partially propped up is most comfortable with the under arm cushion in place (thanks to the lovely volunteers who make and donate these cushions) Saturday saw a visit from Julie and Maddie with Mac and Mia - flowers, a beautiful T2 Teapot and one of Julies beautiful birthday cakes. Once Mia was asleep I was able to nurse her left handed. Heather and Chicken called in on their way to SFC presentation night, Heather looked stunning in the outfit we chose last weekend. Physically I had a really 'off day' I think it was a combination of the operation, Thai food and anti inflamatories which saw me spend quite a large portion of the day in the bathroom. Sunday I woke feeling a lot better - still a few rumbles from the tummy. We spent a lot of the day watching a Netflix series - all 8 episodes (not all at once though) Cold wind outdoors so decided not to go for a walk. Monday walked up to Fitzroy Street and back - just a very brief walk. Heather called in for cake - sent some home with her for Chicken and also her boss Aaron who has been so generous in allowing her time off to be with me - Shell also called round and I sent cake home with her for Rob and Lilly. Today Tuesday - still ten days to go before the sentinel node biopsy results and my dressings are removed. Keeping the positive vibes going - they result will be negative, Dotty has not sent her offspring to any other part of my body. Bill has been amazing - the cared for one is now caring for the carer! - a cup of tea in bed each morning, leg massages before I put the TEDS back on after a shower. I've needed no pain killers since Saturday lunchtime - sure there's some discomfort each morning when I get out of bed and gravity hits but not for long. Two parcels arrived today - new Doona cover from my Queensland family and book and card from Rachel and Kris (what Rach had written brought tears to my eyes). Throughout my journey thus far I've been blessed with so much support and love from my family and friends, I'm so proud of the strength Heather has shown especially when last Wednesday was not only a tough day for me but for both her and Elaine.

NO WONDER PATHOLOGY MAKES ME NERVOUS ...

The past few days I've felt calm, sure there are times when I think about tomorrow and the removal of 'Dotty' but on the whole its not something I've been dwelling on as I've kept busy cooking and making meals for the coming weeks. Saturday was hard when I had to get my acrylic nails removed - I so loved those nails - my nails now look disgusting, short, thin and peeling - I'm rubbing tea tree oil in constantly (as recommended by a friend) hoping to strengthen them. Caught up for coffee with my beautiful foster daughter Lindie who has just returned from holidaying in the US, watched parts of the AFL Grand Final thankfully GWS got a flogging. Sunday was mother/daughter time again, after Devonshire tea went clothes shopping with Heather. A visit from Julie & Tony brightened the afternoon. Monday lazed around catching up on a bit of TV then walked up to Margs - a 4km round trip, was really pleased with this. Today I had to have blood tests ready for tomorrow, the request slip I received was for Dorevitch Pathology so I went there - normally I go to Clinical Labs at Inglis Medical Centre - wish I hadn't. There was a long queue when we got there and two pathologists on duty, I took one look at the male and said to Bill 'hope I don't get him' - yep you guessed it I did - now there was nothing wrong with his manner, he was quite a pleasant man but not competent in taking blood from someone with 'scared' veins so after three failed attempts he had to call for assistance, by this time I was in tears, (memories of 1972 came flooding back when I'd had a similar problem after an operation and in desperation Dr Barry the anaethesetist was called in and he used a vein in my ankle) Pearl came in and in one second flat she had a vein and blood ..yes I had drunk lots of water to plump up my veins … in future I'll only every go to Inglis Street. Bill 'shouted' Macca's for breakfast and we were attended to by a delightful young lady Akanna who brightened my day with her big smile and friendly customer service skills. Lunch outside enjoying the beautiful spring sunshine. Time now to pack my overnight bag and re-read my hospital instructions.

POSITIVE VIBES

Three hours of pre-admission tests and interviews yesterday. A huge thank you to my bestie who made the trip from Warragul to be with me and took 7 pages of notes! A very special friend indeed. My anaesthetist is female and who spent a copious amount of time discussing with me my past history - 39 years since my last operation when my recovery time was long - hence to date this has been my biggest fear about the removal of 'Dotty' - being put to sleep. I left her office feeling much more at ease and pleased she will be on 'my team'. A quick chat with a Dr regarding medications and painkillers - why do the medical profession find it so hard to believe I'm on no prescribed, over the counter or alternative medications. Glenda the admissions nurse I saw was very informative, ensuring I fully understood the procedure I'm about to have, my recovery, including a demonstration on how to put on those sexy long white pressure socks!! My blood pressure was a little high however this was possibly due to anxiety and the fact my arm was straight not relaxed - but nothing to worry about. An ECG showed no heart irregularities ... by now we were in dire need of a caffeine fix and some lunch. A chest Xray still to be done in the next few days and blood tests on Tuesday. Had a few errands that needed doing so I called in and had my Xray done - Heather's friend Theresa was the radiographer - another feel-good appointment - there's just something about a big heartfelt hug. Apologies to the two guys in the waiting room. Slowly managing to read through the BCNA My Journey (also an on-line application available now - probably more convenient but I prefer the hard copy) so much information and personal stories. Another night of broken sleep ....

3AM TEA, CRUMPETS AND MOVIES

So I now have a date for my surgery - Wednesday, October 2nd (yes 2 days before my 73rd birthday). The visit to my surgeon yesterday was a little confronting, even though I'd been through all the details the day prior with my breast cancer nurse. This was the first time I'd seen my mammograms and exactly where 'Dotty' has sited herself - even though 13mm in size 'she' cannot be felt by manual examination, nor can the other 10mm lump, which is benign, (this was only picked up by ultrasound) - I just cannot express enough the importance of regular self-checks, annual Dr examinations and mammograms every two years. Not a tear in sight whilst at the surgeons - proud of me! A beautiful message from Rachel & Kristen had me in tears Just sending a message to say we love you both so very much and we are sorry we won't be able to catch up this weekend. And I know you'll get through it and come through the other side because our family is made of tough stuff (just like those Bulldogs of yours). Sleep avoided me during the night and after lying there with morbid thoughts going round and round in my head I got up around 3am made a cup of Camomile, Vanilla & Honey tea and a buttered crumpet and settled down on the couch snuggled under my Bulldogs rug and watched a movie - went back to bed around 5.30 and slept until 7.15 Bill was already up and preparing breakfast. A phonecall from Di, Admissions Clerk at the Hospital with 4 appointments for tomorrow starting at 10.30 - the anesthetist, pre-admissions nurse, ECG, Blood tests, XRay, and hospital Doctor - my bestie Jan is coming up to go with me. A little bit of 'me time' and pampering with a haircut from Sarah at Zienna Hair .... next step will be a pedicure whilst I have my beautiful pink and floral fingernails removed unfortunately

WHAT A LEGACY - JANE MCRATH

It's a week now since my diagnosis .... Wednesday was a tough day - the emotions were up and down all day - Marg Centra our local McGrath Breast Cancer Nurse rang to establish contact and make an appointment to go over what I can expect and offer support, I was just not ready to talk then I still needed time to digest the diagnosis and what lies ahead. Family and friends called in or rang as the news spread - feeling very blessed - I'm going to have an amazing support group around me. I've named my offending lump 'Dotty' Thursday was a beautiful sunny warm day and I woke feeling quite calm and serene - Sale Cancer Support Group meets on the third Thursday of each month and today was at the Greyhound Club where we enjoyed a lovely meal sitting outdoors trackside. I was able to say 'I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer' without shedding one tear - GO ME! Mikayla sent me a lovely message via Messenger which did make the tears well, not sad tears but humble tears Wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you at this time You’re one of the most incredibly tough women I’ve had the pleasure of coming across and I’m so lucky to have an extra grandma like you Dylan rang and we spoke for 40 minutes, he'd previously sent me a message, just a simple love you grandma on Wednesday. I'm so so lucky to have such caring grandkids. Went to see The Sapphires (stage version) at The Wedge with Noelene on Friday night ... I also surprised myself by being early to pick Noelene up, well I would have been if I'd not sat for 5 minutes outside her place only to find I was in the wrong street!! now while I was doing this Noelene was outside her place and a car pulled up next door and she went to get into the car when a man alighted the car ... there's more in our comedy of errors - we were enjoying a leisurely glass of Moscato when Noelene decided her feet were thirsty ... the show was great though and certainly a great distraction from all the dramas of recent times. Saturday I set myself the task of cleaning up my desk and finishing a few tasks that had been in the 'too hard basket' including cleaning up my emails. Bursting with enthusiasm and energy on Sunday morning I went for an early morning walk, just a quick 1.5km round the local streets - it was lonely without my 'buddy' but I'm sure she was walking it with me. Coffee and cake with Heather, we'd planned to go to Macca's for the raspberry and custard tart, but every second person in Sale must have been at Maccas so we went to the Centre Bakery. Robyn and I had been waiting for the Dowton Abbey movie so Sunday I went with Pat & Geoff. What a brilliant movie. Both Friday night and Sunday I had a spare seat next to me - coincidence or was Robyn there in spirit. Yesterday was Carers Support Group meeting, a lovely group of ladies and just one male. I'd not really considered support groups and their worth previously but I've gained so much knowledge and made new friends plus the added bonus of yummy morning teas provided by Alison and Elaine from LVCH. Feeling much stronger emotionally I'd made an appointment to visit Marg Centra. What a legacy Jane McGrath has left - these Breast Cancer Nurses are so encouraging, supportive, informative and caring and overworked. Marg went through what to expect with my surgery, step by step, in simple language and diagrams so easy to understand and absorb. I was fitted for a free bra - one suitable to wear after surgery and during treatment and given $100 cash to treat myself to something nice or enjoy a romantic dinner with Bill, to spend on whatever buoyed me up/gave me pleasure. (We've decided to have a night in Melbourne when radiation is finished) plus a $100 voucher for Coles Express for petrol to help with transport costs - all through the generosity of the local community. I came home feeling confident, the chances of my cancer returning are 5% ... due to the type and early diagnosis - I urge every woman to have regular mammograms. Exercise and diet are going to be important with recovery so I've been walking the past few mornings, with my earbuds in - amazing how music puts an extra bounce in your step - gradually increasing the distance. Who knows 'Dotty' could just be the catalyst I needed to become a slimmer, fitter personl. Today my emotions are roller coasting, upbeat and happy to miserable and teary again ... maybe its due to the fact I've an appointment with my surgeon later today and the operation to remove 'Dotty' is getting closer.

EVEN GRANDMAS GET BREAST CANCER ...

We all have a journey to travel … No two journeys are the same … This is my journey … But where did it begin … I guess it began back in June this year when I received an email from Breastscreen reminding me my bi-annual mammogram was due Two years ago I'd thought I'd had my last mammogram as I was over 70 which I thought was the cut off point, now I discover that reminders are sent until age 74 and then its over to you to continue if you wish … memories of mammograms gone by flashed back not really pleasant memories but not really painful memories either - having dense boobs had always meant suffering discomfort as they were squashed this way and that way … was it really necessary to go through this again … Being a Libran I tend to take a long time deciding, will I? won't I? I consult my diary and find the first suitable date available and book on-line (so convenient) for Tuesday 13 August - I reason that will be easy just pop in on my way to the pool for my hydro exercise group, will be in my swimmers under my tracksuit so that means less hassle getting undressed and dressed again -after all it is winter in Sale. No-one in the waiting area … so I'm attended to immediately … there seems to be a problem scanning my right boob, there's a crease in the image I'm told, second take is good so I'm told. Life continues on … the following week Bill (my beloved hubby) needs hospitalisation due to pneumonia, my brother loses his six and a half year battle with mesothelioma and Robyn one of my besties who is suffering metastatic breast cancer has been taken to hospital in Melbourne. Amidst making arrangements for Bills siblings to come and care for him whilst I fly to Qld to be with my sister-in-law and attend my brothers funeral, I get a phone call from Breastscreen Traralgon informing me I need to attend for a re-screen as there is a difference showing up in my recent mammogram compared to my previous one … now those who know me well know I'm a highly emotional person at the best of times, I tear up at the drop of a hat, I've even been known to cry watching Home & Away!! … up till then I'd been holding things together pretty well I thought, but this phone call 'threw me for six' amidst my blubbering we arranged an appointment for Tuesday 10 September. I ring one of my other 'besties' Elaine who calms me down - immediately saying 'I'll take you and be your support but remember positive thinking, its probably just a bad scan'. My week on the Gold Coast was pleasant, Pete's funeral was an amazing tribute to his life (67 still too young though) - caught up with all the family, those big welcoming hugs from our great grandies was so heartwarming, spent an afternoon in Brisbane with my eldest grandson and very special sister-in-law moments with Carol. Sale hospital rang me to say Robyn was back from Melbourne and was looking forward to visitors. On my arrival home I rang Robyn and her daughter answered advising me Robyn wasn't expected to last the weekend … far out fruitloops! life just keeps on delivering curved balls … I was able to spend several hours next day with my beautiful, brave friend for whom I'd been a support the past three years the one who had encouraged me to try new adventures, who shared the same passions, who'd shown courage in the face of adversity, we'd laughed, goofed about, walked, talked and now at age 58 was about to be re-united with her Dad. On Sunday September 8 at 3.38am I received a call from Sale Hospital advising me Robyn had passed - she'd named me as her second next of kin. I felt so humble and so numb - RIP beautiful friend. I remember saying FU CANCER Monday 9th was Bills 83rd birthday and I'd planned a trip to Melbourne to experience The Rain Room which was here for a short season and fully booked out however due to the freezing weather and him still coughing we had to cancel … Surely life must start providing us with lemonade and not lemons soon. Tuesday 10th off to Traralgon - so positive nothing would show in my re-screen …. Wrong again!!!! Mammogram first, followed by ultrasound, followed by consult with Dr Pav and nurse/counsellor Lee who informed me two small lumps had been discovered - OMG the floodgates opened but not for long as the tissue box only contained one tissue!! Somehow I explained this was just the final straw to what had been a 'shitty' month (please excuse language but how else do you describe it) they then explained to me what the next steps were … firstly a fine needle aspiration which is to draw cells from the offending lumps (in a later blog I'll detail what each of these procedures entail) unfortunately this was unsuccessful, I was then examined physically by Dr Chan who could not find any lumps or swelling in lymph nodes which meant I now faced a core biopsy under local anesthetic on each lump - I felt more discomfort lying with my arm above my head as this was the shoulder I'd torn the long ligament in last year and still was unable to stretch fully - another nurse Emma held my hand and chatted to me - telling me how strong I was … these three amazingly kind caring and compassionate ladies did all they could to make the procedures as pleasant and pain free as possible - two markers were inserted to show in future procedures or mammograms. The wounds were dressed and a further gentle mammogram performed. Results of biopsies would be known next Tuesday and a further appointment was made. How better to digest this news than with a yummy lunch at Eviva Italian restaurant! Telling Bill was not easy - we've been down the cancer journey with him in the past - telling the 'girls' was relatively easy yet talking about my boobs to my son Rob was not something I felt comfortable with luckily I have an amazing daughter in law who was able to tell him. Getting through Robyns funeral was hard - although I kept telling myself my lumps would be benign I couldn't help wonder what lay in store for me if I was wrong. The weekend flew by with a birthday luncheon for a friends 80th on Saturday and family dinner on Sunday evening. Whilst I was calm and positive Bill was really edgy and I wondered if he felt the need to come with me on Tuesday - he said no but he was restless on Monday night and neither of us had much quality sleep. Tuesday - a cool but fine sunny morning Elaine picked me up and we were both upbeat and positive, planning what we were going to do after my appointment - Elaine came into the consulting room where Breast nurse/counsellor Ges explained what would take place in that Dr Tan would come in and speak to me about the biopsy results - still feeling positive - not expecting the 'Libran effect' one negative and one positive lump, even my boobs can't make up their mind - would the results have been so upsetting if I'd not been so positive in my thinking, deflated, shocked, sobbing, disbelief, annoyance yet not anger all these emotions came spilling out - Elaine was visibly shaken as well. Dr Tan went on to explain the offending lump and some surrounding tissue will be removed including a central lymph node, this will be done under general anesthetic usually in a day procedure then around 3-6 weeks later between 15-25 sessions of radiation therapy followed by a hormone blocker Tamoxifen for some years. Dr Tan made an appointment for us to see our GP at 4pm. One positive is I'm now relinquished from Breastscreen - no more mammograms (happy dance) ongoing care will be by my GP, surgeon, oncologist etc. I'm not sure but I think both Elaine and I said the F word several times once we were out of the building … no shopping today … I just needed to get home and tell Bill - however we did stop at Rosedale bakery for coffee and cream bun - yeah that helped. Elaine offered to go and talk to Heather & Shell … giving Bill and I time to digest the news - although we'd heard the C word several times before it still manages to take the wind out of ones sails. Heather rang saying she was now in charge and would be with me every step of my journey. As I'd had several best wishes/thinking of you today messages we decided to go to the pool and meet up with our wonderful hydro friends and tell them in person over coffee and hot chips. Heather drove us to the medical centre and sat in on the discussions with Bruce (Johnston our GP) - next step to gain an early appointment with Mr Paul Strauss the surgeon who has removed several skin cancers for Bill and in whom we have great trust. Coffee with Rob to brief him on what is going to happen .. home for dinner and lose ourselves watching TV before bed. Wide awake at 3am .. so many thoughts running through my head … keeping a journal whilst Bill was at Peter Mac from operation till end of radiation was so therapeutic for me hence I got up at 5am to begin 'blogging' My Journey in a hope that my musings may in some way help other women particularly older women in the future …. I plan to make a 'hard copy' also where I can add some personal touches …. I am truly blessed to have a wonderful support team in family and friends led by my children. My goal has been and still is to live past 90 years and 6 weeks … the age my darling Mumma was when we lost her. I still have so much living to do …. this 13mm little sucker isn't going to beat me -